I love the smell of Windex in the morning.

My new place has been lived in before by 1000 people and has been cleaned with 1,000,000 gallons of gene altering chemicals. On entry, I reel back from the stink.

So I went to complain to the manager. She said she likes the smell of cleaning chemicals. Then she went on and on about how much she loves the smell of chemicals. The new pine sol, apparently, is just the hottest thing since, well, the last new pine sol.

Which kinda of explains why my carpet has enough drugs in it to make me grow a third arm.