His Noodly Appendage

All is clear to me now. My doubts answered, my fears relieved. I have accepted the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my personal saviour.

Soon I will assume my pirate garb and teach the true alternative to evolution and intelligent design.

"Blasphemy!" I hear you cry. "No one insults evolution and gets away with it!".

I understand your pain and fear since until all too recently, I too shared. Please believe me when I say that I hold love in my heart for you.

Know too that I am here for you and my most fevernt hope is that one day soon, you will now the peace and love of his His Noodly Appendage.

May the sauce be with you.